What It Felt Like to Be Interviewed by One of My Mentors
Some moments in life feel bigger than the moment itself.
Not because of what happened on the surface…
But because of everything it represents underneath.
This was one of those moments.
Last week, Kim flew to Austin to be interviewed by one of her longtime mentors, Layla Martin, for This Tantric Life. And while yes, being featured on a major podcast was exciting…
That wasn’t the real story.
The real story was what that moment represented.
A woman who once felt deeply disconnected from her body, her truth, her sexuality, and herself…
Sitting across from one of the teachers who helped change her life.
That’s a full-circle moment.
And if you’ve ever wondered whether healing work actually changes anything…
This story is your answer.
Healing Doesn’t Always Look Dramatic
Sometimes healing looks like tears.
Sometimes it looks like hard conversations.
Sometimes it looks like leaving relationships that no longer align.
And sometimes…
Healing looks like sitting in a podcast studio realizing:
Holy sh*t. I actually became the woman I was searching for.
Kim shares openly in this episode about how, 8–10 years ago, life looked “fine” from the outside.
Marriage.
Kids.
Business.
The version of success society says should make you happy.
But internally?
She felt numb.
Flat.
Disconnected.
Like something essential was missing.
And honestly?
That experience is far more common than most people admit.
Comfort Can Quietly Kill Connection
This is one of the most important conversations in the episode.
Because this isn’t just about one woman’s story.
It’s about what happens when we spend years abandoning ourselves.
People-pleasing.
Performing.
Overriding intuition.
Staying “fine.”
Numbing discomfort with:
‼️ Work
‼️ Social media
‼️ Food
‼️ Alcohol
‼️ Constant productivity
‼️ Achievement
‼️ Busyness
Modern life rewards disconnection.
And then we wonder why intimacy feels hard.
Why desire disappears.
Why relationships feel flat.
Why anxiety lives in the body.
Why success still feels empty.
The Healing Journey Is Really a Homecoming
One of the strongest themes in this episode is this:
Healing is not about becoming someone new.
It’s about remembering who you already are.
That’s a radically different conversation.
Because so many people approach healing like:
“What’s wrong with me?”
“How do I fix myself?”
“Why am I so broken?”
But what if that’s the wrong question?
What if the truth is:
You adapted.
You survived.
You learned patterns that once kept you safe.
And now those same patterns may be keeping you disconnected from love, pleasure, truth, and intimacy.
That’s not brokenness.
That’s conditioning.
Why Trauma and Old Patterns Shape Relationships
This episode goes deep into how trauma affects relationships.
Not always obvious trauma.
Not always the dramatic kind.
Sometimes:
Childhood conditioning.
Walking on eggshells.
Learning to stay quiet.
Becoming the good girl.
Becoming hyper-independent.
People-pleasing.
Always proving.
Never asking for needs to be met.
And these patterns absolutely show up in adult relationships.
Kim shares how, before doing this work, she recognized:
❌ Emotional shutdown
❌ Self-abandonment
❌ Controlling behaviour
❌ Projection
❌ Disconnection from pleasure
❌ Difficulty receiving love
And Roberto shares his own story of trauma, anger, hypervigilance, and survival-based nervous system patterns.
This is why relationship healing is never just about communication tools.
It’s deeper than that.
Tantra, Somatics, and Nervous System Healing Change Relationships
A huge part of this conversation is about embodied healing.
Not just talking about problems.
Actually reconnecting to the body.
The nervous system.
Pleasure.
Life force energy.
Emotional truth.
Because the body remembers what the mind tries to override.
This is why so many people intellectually “know” what they should do…
But still repeat the same relationship patterns.
The body is still protecting old wounds.
This is also why tantra, somatic work, emotional healing, and nervous system regulation can create such profound transformation in intimacy and relationships.
Your Relationship With Yourself Shapes Your Relationship With Love
One of the most powerful lines in this episode:
How you speak to yourself is how you speak to your partner.
Read that again.
Because this changes everything.
How you:
🌹 Honour yourself
🌹 Abandon yourself
🌹 Judge yourself
🌹 Trust yourself
🌹 Receive love
🌹 Set boundaries
🌹 Express truth
…all shapes what becomes possible in relationship.
This is why personal healing and couples healing are deeply connected.
It’s Never Too Late to Change Your Relationship
This episode makes something incredibly clear:
It is not too late.
Not at 40.
Not at 50.
Not after divorce.
Not after trauma.
Not after years of disconnection.
Transformation doesn’t belong only to people who “got it right early.”
Sometimes the most powerful relationships are built after people finally stop abandoning themselves.
Why Couples Retreats Create Transformation Faster
This conversation naturally leads into why immersive relationship work matters.
Because daily life makes deep change hard.
Kids.
Phones.
Schedules.
Stress.
Work.
Obligations.
Constant noise.
At Phoenix Rising Retreats, couples step outside of all of that.
REGISTER NOW FOR OUR JUNE 18-22 & JULY 16-20, 2026 GROUP COUPLES RETREAT
Inside our private and group retreats, couples learn to reconnect with:
✔️ Themselves
✔️ Their bodies
✔️ Their emotional truth
✔️ Their nervous systems
✔️ Their intimacy
✔️ Their partnership
This is not surface-level relationship advice.
It’s deep experiential transformation rooted in tantra, emotional honesty, trauma-informed healing, and conscious partnership.
We’re keeping this retreat small with just 6 couples, so every pair gets the intimacy and support they deserve. Rooms (GeoDomes or cottages) are first-come, first-served.
👉 Reserve your retreat spot here
PS: If this date isn't for you. We still have a ton of other dates available on our website ! You can check it out here!
Kim said something powerful: Sometimes that yearning inside you is there for a reason.
That quiet whisper saying: There has to be more.
That longing for deeper intimacy. More connection. More truth. More aliveness.
That pull matters.
Because often… It’s your body remembering before your mind catches up.
Sometimes the full-circle moment you dream about…
Begins with the scary decision to finally choose yourself. 💫
Ready When You Are
If you feel this is for you and your partner, but you still have lots of questions or would prefer a private couples retreat, we’d love to explore what’s possible for you.
📞 Book Your Complimentary Exploration Call here
It’s a simple, open conversation about your relationship, your desires, and whether one of our retreats feels like a good fit.
No pressure. No sales tactics. Just two humans who believe in love, intimacy, and the power of being brave enough to go deeper.
With love,
