Blowj*bs: From Just a Chore to a Pleasurable Choice
There’s a quiet moment in this episode—right in between the laughter and the real talk—where Kim shares something that hits hard:
“It used to feel like a chore. A thing I had to do. I didn’t enjoy giving blowjobs... until I started healing.”
In Episode 278 of Get Your Sexy Back for Couples, Kim and Roberto get brutally honest about sex, shame, blowjobs, and what it really takes to turn something performative into something pleasurable.
This conversation isn’t just about oral sex—it’s about how many of us learned to disconnect from our bodies and perform instead of feel.
Here are six of the most powerful truths from their conversation -
and why they matter.
(Want to tune into this episode? Listen on Apple or Spotify HERE)
Most women didn’t learn how to enjoy sex...
They learned how to survive it.
Kim gets real about her early experiences: she didn’t like giving blowjobs. She didn’t even like receiving them. Why? Because she was carrying trauma, conditioning, and decades of shame.
Like many women, she was taught what not to do. She got the warnings, the fear, the messages that her sexuality was dangerous. But she never got to learn what felt good, what she wanted, or how to listen to her body.
And it’s no surprise that giving head felt like just one more thing on the list.
Porn culture taught men the script -
but not the intimacy.
Roberto shares his side: learning about sex from porn, and later realising how much pressure that created—for both partners. There was a performance. An expectation. A result that was supposed to happen (and fast).
But what got lost in that script? Presence. Feedback. Connection.
Roberto shares how asking questions like, “Do you like that?” or “What would feel better?” became game-changers in their sex life—not because they were techniques, but because they were real.
Shame kills arousal. Safety brings it back.
Kim’s journey with sacred sexuality and trauma healing helped her get out of her head and back into her body. And through somatic tools like breath, sound, and movement, she started to feel safe again in her pleasure.
She says it best:
“Now, I love giving blowjobs. I want to. I’m not just doing it to get it over with—I’m in it. I’m connected. And I’m having fun.”
The transformation wasn’t about technique. It was about healing. Slowing down. Creating space for truth, safety, and choice.
Giving a blowjob isn’t about technique...
it’s about turn-on.
The moment Kim stopped doing it out of obligation and started tuning into her own desire, everything changed. What was once a shutdown became a turn-on. Not because she learned new tricks—but because she let herself want to enjoy it.
She reminds listeners: “You don’t owe anyone a blowjob. But you do owe yourself truth and pleasure.”
This is a permission slip to want more—from your body, your partner, and your sex life.
Sacred sex doesn’t look like porn...
and thank goddess for that.
Kim and Roberto share how their lovemaking evolved from quickies and orgasms to connection, presence, and 30+ orgasmic experiences (yes, really). But also… to slow mornings. Gentle caresses. Erotic eye contact. Naked dancing in the kitchen.
What matters isn’t the act—it’s the energy.
Whether it’s a blowjob, sex, or sacred touch, the question isn’t “Did I do it right?” It’s: Did I feel connected? Was I turned on? Did we meet each other here?
This isn’t about blowjobs. It’s about reclaiming your body.
This episode is playful, yes. But it’s also a wake-up call: if something feels like a chore in your sex life… that’s a sacred signal.
Not to try harder. Not to push through.
But to pause. To feel. To explore.
What’s in the way? What do you need? What would feel good?
Because when shame gets cleared and safety gets built, something incredible happens: you want to be there. You want to connect. You want to give. And it stops being a “should,” and starts being a hell yes.
If You’re Craving This Kind of Connection…
Kim and Roberto offer private and small-group couples retreats at their beautiful lakeside retreat space, Phoenix Rising Retreats, located on Karawtha Lake in Ontario. They also work virtually with couples ready to reconnect, heal shame, and reawaken pleasure (without pressure or performance).
The great news is that they are NOW accepting registrations for our Couples Group Retreat this coming November 20 - 24, 2025.
What you can expect in our retreats:
• A lakeside sanctuary with space to slow down and breathe again
• Daily practices that build intimacy, presence, and passion
• Support from us in an intimate, like-minded group
• Nourishing meals, cozy fires, and private moments together with no distractions
• The chance to take everything you’re learning back into your bedroom…and feel the difference
If this lit something up in you, trust that- because you don’t need to be broken to want more, and you don’t need to settle for “fine.”
✨ Click here to reserve your spot!
PS: If November doesn’t fit your calendar, our February retreats are also open at the same link.
👉 Book a free Exploration Call to ask your questions and see if this is the right fit.
✨ Click here to book your call
Because your sex life doesn’t have to feel like a chore.
It can feel like truth.
Like play.
Like you.
To Your Turn On,
