How To Feel Desired In Your Relationship
At the heart of almost every couple we work with is this quiet longing:
I want to feel desired.
Desired not just for how you look when you’ve dressed up for date night… but for who you are when you’re chopping wood, cooking dinner, or lying on the couch in your sweatpants.
In Episode 51 of Get Your Sexy Back for Couples, Kim and Roberto discuss what it's really about: desire that comes from truth, embodiment, and presence — not performance.
Here are 5 of the most powerful points from this episode.
(Want to tune into the podcast? Listen on Apple or Spotify here)
Desire Isn’t Just About Looks
For both men and women, “feeling desired” used to mean looking sexy enough. Clothes, hair, makeup, body shape.
But over time, we learned: it’s not the outfit that creates attraction… it’s the energy. It’s how present, grounded, and alive you feel in yourself.
Masculine Presence Is Deeply Sexy
For most women, there is nothing more desirable than a man in his truth.
Kim talks about how when Roberto is out chopping wood or grounding in his body, it’s primal, raw, and incredibly hot- not because of the clothes, but because of the presence.
When the masculine provides, protects, and shows up in integrity, it gives the feminine space to soften, receive, and open. That’s where true intimacy begins.
Feminine Aliveness Sparks Desire
On the flip side, women in their flow, connected to their bodies and pleasure, radiate desire toward their men.
Roberto shares how when Kim follows her turn-on- from dancing in the kitchen to giving herself time to rest- she becomes magnetic.
Desire grows when the feminine is allowed to be in her essence: receptive, alive, playful, deeply embodied.
Desire Is Built Through Everyday Acts
It’s not just sex. Desire lives in the little things:
Bringing your partner a drink while they’re working outside.
Saying “I’ve got this, go rest” when you see they’re exhausted.
Offering a massage, or receiving one fully without guilt.
These simple acts of care and presence are what keep desire alive — long after the honeymoon phase has passed.
Sacred sex doesn’t look like porn...
and thank goddess for that.
Kim and Roberto share how their lovemaking evolved from quickies and orgasms to connection, presence, and 30+ orgasmic experiences (yes, really). But also… to slow mornings. Gentle caresses. Erotic eye contact. Naked dancing in the kitchen.
What matters isn’t the act—it’s the energy.
Whether it’s a blowjob, sex, or sacred touch, the question isn’t “Did I do it right?” It’s: Did I feel connected? Was I turned on? Did we meet each other here?
Pleasure Practices Keep the Flame Burning
Desire can be cultivated. From playful rituals like “Massage My Man Mondays” to slowing down for bodywork, touch, or jade egg practices, couples can bring erotic energy into the everyday.
When you prioritise pleasure and presence, your relationship naturally becomes more intimate, more alive… and yes, more desirable.
Why This Matters for Couples
Desire doesn’t fade because love is gone... it fades because we get disconnected from ourselves and each other.
When you reclaim your truth, your body, and your pleasure, intimacy reignites.
This is the work we guide couples into at Phoenix Rising Retreats. In private or group retreats, we help you explore masculine and feminine polarity, embodiment, and practices that make you feel deeply desired — without performance or pretence.
🔥 Reignite the flame. It starts with a single step.
Book your complimentary Exploration Call today and let’s explore if a Phoenix Rising Retreat is right for you and your partner.
With Love,
